(EDIT: I AM STILL ACTIVE & ABLE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS. I know a shit-ton more than I did 5 months ago and if I don't know something I can ask on the Gender Bridge or Trans and Intersex NZ FB groups for you. idk if this post is archived but you can DM me and I'll respond & then add it to this post)
(Update 25 July 2020: Lena's HRT got through customs - only two people incl. me have ordered so far and both got through today - took 2 months. Payment is via sendmoney24.com)
(Update 26 July 2020: I got progesterone, scroll down for details)
so this is my experience, with as many details I can remember. i am a binary(ish?) trans woman, so obviously my experience will be different but they're apparently really good with gender diverse & non-binary folks too. I was also over 18 when I realised I was trans so if you're younger it's probably going to be very different.
- I told my GP mid-April that I was trans and wanted to start HRT, she asked me for my preferred name (but actually updating my name in their system seems to be a different process that might be harder, I will ask her about it next time), and then sent in a referral to Auckland Sexual Health Services. if you're at uni, GP appointments there cost something like $20-25. something I didn't do at this point was reach out to local LGBT orgs & add myself to FB groups in retrospect I should have done this because throughout the whole process I felt really alone. either that or finding a therapist / counsellor to confide in. also ask your GP for a blood test form for your hormone levels so you have a baseline (ASHS will test them later on but you can't see it)
- getting an appointment with ASHS took about 3-4 months. they will send a text to your phone 1-2 months and give you a list of possible appointment dates, then a confirmation text 1 month before the appointment asking whether you still want the appointment. spaces are really, really limited.
- my appointment was in Greenlane, & with Dr Jeanie Oliphant. if you can't get a lift there look up multiple bus routes in advance, I very nearly fucked this up & missed my first appo.
- in the first appointment - which like everything else is free - they will probably 1. give you a blood test form 2. ask if you want to freeze sperm 3. ask you some general questions about your sexual history, mental health background, how you experience being trans, etc., 4. discuss some possible hrt options 5. give you some forms to complete relating to fertility preservation
- then they will schedule an appointment with a counsellor,. mine was in mangere which was a significantly long drive. they will make you do two appointments with the counsellor, the first 1 month after the 1st appo, and then the second a month after that. if your appointment is in the morning they might open 15-20 mins late, but maybe that was just the one time.
- honestly i kind of did the 'cis baby talk' thing where i described my experience as a trans woman in the most unambiguous & stereotypical way possible to maximise the chance i'd get hrt, but in retrospect that was probably unnecessary. they're working on an informed consent model so don't worry about it i guess
- you shouldn't be worried about how the counselling session will go, the office is kind of cramped & weird but it was very non-judgemental & the guy made it clear to me that the point of the sessions was evaluating mental health & managing expectations around hrt - not "decide whether or not she can have hrt". just be prepared to talk about yourself
- the actual date I got the prescription for HRT was late December, so if you haven't processed your thoughts about your gender yet & you can't afford to go private then get a referral from your GP ASAP, do the processing in the meantime, & if you decide against it you can always cancel the appointment. this wait-time is shorter than other countries but it felt like a stupidly long time, especially because I hadn't found an antidepressant regimen that worked for me yet.
- T-blockers: they offer you Lucrin injections, Zoladex implants, or cyproterone tablets. I went with the cyproterone (12.5mg a day), but I want to switch to Lucrin since it's apparently the gold standard.
- estrogen: they offer you progynova tablets and estradot patches. they will start you on 50ug/day for patches and 2mg/day for tablets. push for higher amounts one month in, prescription guidelines say to start you on the lowest amount. with progynova tablets you can suck the coating off and dissolve it under your tongue which has 6x higher availability, but Dr. Powers' presentation said to start by taking it orally (swallowing it) to mimic the higher estrone (E1) levels (not E2, estradiol which is the pills & the patches) that girls have when they start puberty. I'm trying this
- you can see the max amount subsidised here: https://www.pharmac.govt.nz/2020/02/01/Schedule.pdf. for estradot this is 100mcg day, two patches a week. for more of that, all I know is that the Greenlane Hospital pharmacy charges $55.10 for 24 (3 months supply = max they can give you) but other pharmacies charge more or less. You can google "pharmac estradot" for the pharmac cost, all the pharmacies mark up from that. for progynova you can get theoretically as much as you want, but the 2018 Guidelines for trans healthcare only go up to 6mg, but you can argue for 8mg by just saying you want to try it out - if you're young ask about the risks of deep vein thrombosis, that will kind of force your practitioner to do a mental risk/reward calculation that comes out favourably for you.
- if they schedule another appointment in 3 months, your prescription probably won't last until then. Dr. Oliphant told me to text Jove the fax details of my local pharmacy or clinic to get a new prescription.
- install a pill tracker alarm app to your phone to keep track of when to swap patches/take pills.
- a month in ask your GP to give you a blood test. my e levels were super low & I wasn't absorbing anything from my patches (one 50ug/day patch, rotated every 3.5 days) when I placed them on my stomach, so I used micropore surgical tape I'd ordered from Aliexpress to tape down the edges securely (otherwise you get a lining of lint and hair and shit idk) & placed it on my bum instead of my stomach, which lead to less wrinkling. judging by my better mood this seems to have worked but I'm getting another test to see whether this made a difference or whether I'm just a non-responder to transdermal patches (???)
anyway this is where I'm at right now. I'm planning on switching to progynova, taking 4mg divided up through the day to start off with, and switching to a private provider. list here: https://genderminorities.com/database/medical-surgical/transgender-healthcare-providers/
on the off chance someone else living in nz looks up what the process for hrt is like in new zealand i hope this helped & i can answer any other questions
edit: 15 june update with info I've collected together Progynova dose:
I've been on progynova for like...4 months now. Got my dose increased to 6mg instead of 4 with absolutely no issue, didn't have to pay anything.
Since I was also on boron it was more like 9mg? or 10mg? Dr Oliphant wrote a paper on trans healthcare that suggested going above this is unnecessary so I'm imagining I'll get resistance if I try to push the dose higher, but I'm planning on asking since there's no harm. Switching to sublingual:
I switched to sublingual 5 days ago (and I should've done it earlier, my boobs were stuck at tanner 3.5 for a while). 1mg at 8am, 12pm, 4pm, 7pm, then oral at 10pm since I cbf. Someone recommended to crush them into powder but I found that unnecessary. Split them in two and it takes five. Pill cutters from Aliexpress are less than $4, they're a life-saver. Once you suck off the coating, they dissolve completely under your tongue in 14 minutes. The first time I did it, I swallowed a lot but it was a learnable skill and the longer you avoid swallowing the easier it becomes, what I do now is: swill water around in my mouth for 30 seconds to stop saliva production, don't put anything in and try to stop swallowing reflexively for 2-3 mins which means you'll get the reflexive swallowing over and done with, and then put the pill in and start doing ocused in-out deep breathing (I'm sure there are more tips, look up "how to stop reflexive swallow"). Since I got diagnosed with ADHD ritalin has made this 100x easier for some reason, could be partly salivation inhibition as a side effect, could be better focus and self-control. Maybe neurotypical people find this whole thing much easier. Overall changes:
Okay I'm getting Boron:
Obviously this is still experimental blah blah blah etc. etc., I got boron from iHerb like 4 months ago, I compared around 5-6 different sites with different shipping policies and a LOT of different brands and the cheapest per unit was [this](Now Foods, Boron, 3 mg, 250 Capsules) at 7.7c/capsule, realistically 23c a day (9mg was the point at which I got really noticeable breast tenderness w/o changing my e dose at all), currently it's Source Naturals Triple Boron since the other one is out of stock. I considered buying boron from Alibaba (USD$23/kg) which is literally a thousand times cheaper but that requires talking to people and negotiating and shit. Maybe a long-term option. If it goes well I will list the supplier I ordered from. EDIT:
so according to this
post, boron doesn't do much unless you're taking a lot of e already. check out their chart Progesterone:
So I'm on the Genderbridge FB group (really
should've joined ages ago) and there are at least two people who have managed to get utrogestan prescriptions from their GPs. A few more with progesterone creams. My GP said go to the specialists and the clinic said no. So I'm going to find someone else and if that's not possible I'll try get progesterone creams since amazon4health says 90% of unauthorised pills get caught. Not sure about vials. UPDATE ON PROGESTERONE:
Oneroa Accident and medical ctr gives out progesterone. Make sure to speak to Dr Michael karetai or Dr Isla Karetai or Dr Margaret Karetai. They do phone consultations, $70 if you're not registered and you're over 18, details on their site, much lower if you have a community services card. Further update:
Dr Margaret Karetai is the absolute best. If you have done the research, then she will trust you. Be clear about exactly what you want. She is very nice and I got utrogestan 200mg and bicalutamide 50mg!!!!!!!!!!
Note: pharmacy costs vary a lot, ask for your utrogestan prescription to be faxed to your nearest Chemist Warehouse (cheapest option) since it's not subsidised. The cost is here: https://www.chemistwarehouse.co.nz/CWH/media/Documents/CWNZPrescriptionPricelistNov2019.pdf
right now it's $24.99 for a pack of 30 100mg pills. If you're doing Dr Powers' 200mg regimen this comes out to $600 a year. Kind of steep but this is what I'm doing until I've finished negotiating with Alibaba suppliers and getting the powder tested at a harm reduction place (forgot what it's called.)
If I find a good Chinese supplier, I will do a full write-up as another post, with instructions and prices & link it here. DIY options
Regarding SRS and other surgeries
- According to Amazon4Health, 90% of pills don't get through Customs.
- You can get estrogen implants now, imported from Adelaide, there's at least one GP who does them. Ask on one of the trans FB groups. Comment for more details.
- You can get injections legit if you have a letter from your GP. Comment if you're interested, I can give you the whole procedure.
- The two non-prescription EV sources I've interacted with that ship to NZ are Lena and otokonoko. Otokonoko is pricier but their shipping is faster and they do refunds if it doesn't get through customs. However, they seem to only take bitcoin & other crypto at the moment which is tough since NZ's regulations make it difficult to get bitcoin, none of the major markets allow NZ. Might have changed since I last tried 6 months ago, though. DM me your results so I can add them here & expand our pool of collective knowledge
Regarding electrolysis and laser
- Orchiectomy - 100% free, and according to other people the waiting list is around 3-6 months long.
- SRS - probably better to get it done privately in Thailand or something, the current 'waiting list' is 15 years long.
- Breast augmentation is regarded as "cosmetic"
- If you're nearby I recommend Julie Martin for electrolysis. Electrology is kind of expensive, for her it's $90 for a 1 hour session if you can tolerate up to that much and it doesn't go that much lower. Apparently another option is combined electrolysis+laser, you start with laser, wait 6 wks, go to an electrologist and get whatever's left cleared away. Some laser places are doing a 50% discount right now, and they cheapen it if you pay for all your sessions at the same time upfront. Not sure, this might take longer overall, not sure about permanence.
- I'm using a home IPL kit for body hair, brand is Bosidin.
This was written for a different group /stocks it got deleted so hopefully this time it works !
I dont want to sell you or recommend anything ! Just my expierence and little help so enjoy. If you want to ask me anything feel free, I try so answer everything.
This article is meant to be a small guide that helps you to find your way. Its based on my experience and knowledge, I gained throughout the years. Iam by far no professional. Iam just a guy who loves to invest. If you are new and have few grands to invest this article might help you.
My motivation to write this article was because when I turned 20 I got a small loan of 1 milli.... just few grands from my parents plus the savings I made from working. For me it was clear that I want to invest them. I always liked the idea making money and not really working for it! (Spoiler its kinda true and kinda not)
So I sum up few steps which will helped me to orientate and maybe help you to make your first investement
Step one 1. Where I can Invest?! You can basicly invest in everything. They are infinite options but I just cover up few topics.
They are 5 investments I would like to adress.
- Real estate
- Krypto n+1. art, old cars, drugs?! (Don’t do or sell drugs pls!)
Stocks (my fav.) I love stocks. I love understanding what the company’s plans are and where they are heading.
They are 3 different types of investment strategies.
- Short term (daily) That’s usually daily trading. That means you invest and sell on a daily basis. If your not a expert it can frustrating and the chances that you will lose is high. Many people forget that you have to pay taxes and fees so even if you for example invest 1.000 and sell for 1.050 within 20 min. You will have to pay some fees and taxes and with luck, you are where you started. It only makes sense when you invest a lot, otherwise it makes no sense and to be honest I don’t know any person which makes profit with it.
Stress Lvl: High
Profit: Usualy bad
- Mid term (6month – 1 year+) You buy some stocks for a longer period of time and hope it will go up soon.
This investment is much easier and less risky than short term. You see a stock going up and up so you invest 5k and hope you can ride a little on this upwards trend. Its fairly easy but you have to keep an eye on the market. A good example is VW it dropped because it has some Image problems. Thats a chance to invest! It will most likely to recover because its the biggest automarker in the world and it did. It happend 1000 times and normaly big companies dont fail they are exception but without risk you dont get anywhere
- Long term ( 1-2years – 10 years+) Means you want to invest for a long time you are not only interested in making a quick buck but making a slow and steady progress. You are not interested if the stock goes up or down but you are more interested how much divendend they pay. Usualy they go up very slowly but steady. A good example for this type of stock is Royal Dutch (shell) it has ist up and downs but compared to other stocks ist stable. The dividend is 6% which is insanly good no other big company will pay you that every year. You invest 10.000€ and get every year 600€ which means a holiday for free. Also the work is very little, you only have to check the stocks every few weeks/month You wont get rich but its better than having it in the bank.
Before you invest check the company read the news and get a good overview. I have to admit Iam a fanboy at heart. When a stock of one of my fav. company’s has potential and it does make sense to invest it feels like buying tickets for my favorite Rockband. You support and cheer them on and if they grow you grow with them. BUUUUUUT don’t get my wrong never buy stocks just because you like the company or they have a cool name.
All in all Stocks are a great Investment!
If you want to invest in houses it’s a very save and profitable investment but it depends on your area and country you are coming from. In Germany most objects are overpriced right now so it wouldnt make any sense to buy some. In generell the more money you have the better. They will will be much more people who can afford an cheap flat/condo than the other way around. So expensive objects are better! The optimum is always a shitty apartment in a very good area. Also buying objects in bad areas cause lots of trouble with tenant. Crazy families who refuse to pay, messy people etc. this can end in a stressful situation so beware of that.
If you are already rich af than buy propreties
I went once to an auction and most apartments are sold for double the estimated value. It would take ages (20+ years) to get your investment back. So beware of your market situation.
Stress: Usualy low/medium
Options are basicly betting that a stock with go up or down. You can bet on nearly everything. You can make lot of money very quick and lose everything even quicker. For me option trading is gambling with few extra steps. The difference is you can lose more than you invest. They are cases where people invest 1000€ and lose -120.000€ because suddelny the market changed.
If you have gambling problems and tendency to gamble this is absolutly not for you. You can see here (in the forum) lots of bad examples where people going full YOLO on something and lose a ton of money. They save up a little, invest in something even more risky and lose again.
I know a friend who makes good money from it but he has a clear head and read many books about this topic he uses software to analyse the situation and everything and he admits that sometimes he doesnt understand what happend. Of course options are not the devils tool but I like to be the voice against it. The truth is in the middle.
Iam a person who likes to understand what am I doing. After reading and learning about it, for more than a year I was more confused than before. It is probably because Iam to stupid for it, so I gave it up and moved on. Options are not for me
Difficulty: very hard (at least for me)
Risk: low - very risky
Profit: It can be everything
Start-ups are also a great business opportunity. I was lucky enough to invest once a little bit into a upcoming company from my firend. He showed me his company and the plans for the future. I already helped him with few shows and stuff so I knew how everything worked.
The biggest bullshit I ever saw are the analyse prediction of the future sales. During the last few years I saw few of them and they all predicted that the company will make an absurd amount of money. It looked like high cool project all shiny and with big numbers. To be honest I dont even know who pay these people to make such bullshit predictions, seriously.
(as you can see I love talking from my life so forgive me my dear)
Long story short I still invested because I understood their model. They existed and already made great progress. I made 50% profit in 3 years. I am still very happy and greatful to had such good chance to invest and would do it again.
They biggest question is how do I find such chances ?
Tell people you are intersted to invest maybe a friend of you will start an company and you can invest or help you to find such a opprtunity. I went to many start up meetings and talk about a lot with my friends. They dont want to hear it but I tell them anyway and if there is a chance they will call me.
- Look for already existing companys
- Most companys give you a very good inside look before you invest! If not watch out they hide something.
- Try to understand what they are doing and where they are heading
- Look what the will offer you for your money!
Profit: Good/Very good
Investment: From Low to high
Boy oh boy where to start. I heard to many experts saying yeah krypto thats future boyyyyyy I invested everything BOYYYYYYY and in few month I will be rich BOIIIIII. I heard this story so often that Iam allgeric to it now. This irregulated mess based purly on speculations wasnt anything form me. I didnt invest a cent into it and had lots of chances when bitcoin was 300-500 €. It didnt simply fit into my portfolio. It had no function for me. You could pay for your drugs in the deep web and some hipster pizzerias accepted it but in generell it had no function. So investing into kryptos is just speclutions it has no real fundation what I like.
My friends who invested early made a ton of money but all the people on the Hypetrain crashed.
Difficulty: I dont know
Stress: Depends how much storys you make about it on Instagra´m
Risk: Over 9000
Profit: It can be everything from super high to low in just few days
Investment: What ever you want, if this is still to expensive for you, make your own coin and hope some Idiot buys it!
Now you know my knowledge ehh more like my opionen on few things now its time for……. Step. 2. Get a rough overview
Back than I didn’t know where to start so I asked everybody for advice like parents, friends , my parents friends, banks, forums, news etc. and got very different results.
Friends and family can be a good source of information how they did it. Of course often investments are impossible to repeat because they are 20 years ago but they can give some good advice. Its nice to hear few cool stories.
Royal Dutch shell hast wo different stocks. One based in england (B) one Dutch version (A) (explained very simple, not 100% accurate). If you purchase Royal Dutch (A) you have to pay a 15% withholding tax that you wouldnt when you buy Royal Dutch (B).
Banks are terrible to ask. I always had shitty experience. The lured me into meetings, only to sell some shitty investment models from which they make some good money of me or some stupid insurence. They are not interested in your loses or profits they are interested to sell you the next stupid investement from which the make money. They never keep their promises and if you loose they will cheer you up and show their new hot investement and so on and so on until you loose and they drop you.
My mom works kind of in the finance sector and you wont believe home money older people lost ton of money because of this. I also found few very shady investements opportunities who would be illegal but I wont get into detail cause I dont have 100% proof for it and I also dont want to get in any trouble. As you can see Iam not big fan oft them and do not recommend!
For me charts & news works the best. It’s easily so see what’s going on and gives you a great overview. The chart showed that a stock dropped 5%?! Good! Read the news/forums and find out what is going on! It’s that easy you don’t need 15 monitors and crazy software to understand what is happening. Dont make it to complicated! Have an easy overview about the market which you would like to invest.
My parents invested around a year ago alot in Tesla. It was before Model 3 was released. Tesla had no expierence in mass production and it was clear (at least to me) that they wont have an easy start. They still made no profit and it was the first step to play with the big boys. Back than the Tesla stock was way over 300€ and it was based a lot on speculation and hype. It couldnt live up to they hype and dropped ≈ 30% - 35%.
- Few points & strategies
Never ever let your emotions guide you. Stocks are not based on a stomach feeling or any other emotion. Dont invest just because you like Elon Musk or Apple or anything. If I have a the chance to invest into one because the timing is right. Always make sure you know what you are doing. When it can wait a day, sleep a night about it and be sober! You can get sucked up into this world you will start giving a shit if you lose one grand and start digging deeper and deeper and lose sense the value of it. Stay sober and now when you have to stop.
It will happend and dont freak out !
They are two options how to handle it and it depends on few things.
- Sell them, you see the ship is sinking and their no possibility you can save it than sell it, It hurts but better early than it is to late. Or you find a better possibility to invest for example a start up than its also fine.
- Keep it! Turning a Short/Mid-term investement into a long-term investement. Check first if the company will recover from it. For example the VW stocks dropped a lot due it scandal few years ago but it was clear that they will not go bankrupt so after a while they recover from it. Technically the market will grow infinite so after every crash they reach new heights, if you can wait that long the chances are high that you will make some profit and do not lose any money. Maybe the profit will be small but better than losing everything.
Dont put all your eggs in one basket but also dont but every egg in a different basket. Have a good mix that you can still have an overview about your investment. Dont depend on one investment something bad can always happend. Having a good mix is important some investments will go up and few will go down. Its rearly that everything will crash (expect crises). So you can sell the good one and keep the bad ones until they go up.
Stick to the basics! They are a ton of scammers online who want to show you a way to make fast money. Its mostly some MLM (multi level markting) aka Pryamide sheme, some buying and reselling some stuff from China or some weird option trading platform where pay in and your money is gone in 5 min without any trace o fit (no chance getting it back)! The Instagram advertisment is so ridiculous and I feel stupid mentioning it but hey if it wouldnt work they wouldnt exist. So please dont be this guy….
I really wanted to invest and have an own start-up. I met many people and visited countless seminars. Few of them offered me to invest but it was a mostly a mess. Onced I got fooled. A friend and I meet a person who had a start up for social media. We had some meetings restaurant he paid everything for us and looked very legit. I worked 3-4 month in this start up 3-4 hours a day, even on weekends for free. Only later to find out I was the only one working in it. (My friend pulled out very early cause he wanted to focus on his PhD) They rest oft he Team did absolute nothing! All the money the company generated was based on my work. They didnt make a lot of money but around 600-800€ a month. The founder spend all the money on vacation and stuff. I never got anything. They wanted to sell me 10% of the company for 15.000€. I always said I need more inside infos, which of course I never got. So I pulled out and they went mad and threaten me to sue me. I feel to this day ashamed that I trusted them and didnt saw it.
If you want get into something like this make a contract dont rely on handshakes people will tell you everything and wont keep it. I learned it the hard way
Be open minded
I met enough people who dont want to share with me their portfolio because they are scared that I will steal something from them. Its stupid! Talk to as many people als possible about your investment. Some amazing things can happend. I meet to many great people because of that and with some I share a 5+ years long friendship maybe we dont share the same ideas but I leanred a lot of it and sometimes I made some profit because of it! Be open !
Prediction & graphic lines
When I did my first Investment (it was gold) I read every morning every article about it I could for at least a solid year. Every monring 20 min Thats rouhly 120 hours. Thats time I will never get back. It was wasted time. The news/articels predicted everything. It was a rollercoaster. I believed it in the beginning because it was new to me. It really messed me up and I spend way to much time overthinking. Its fine to see a prediction but the more extreme it is the more it will never happend.
Also the trendlines are mostly worthless. I read so many people talking about the 50 day trendline or the 200 day trendline. It only idicates if a stock goes up or down but people interepte everything into it. “Oh yeah you can see the restience at 12.50 if it will drop below everbody will sell“. The next day it dropped and nothing happend. Dont believe everything in the internet. (lol)
Keep it simple
Dont make it to complicated you can have the best infos and charts and everything in the world and still lose everything. So dont make it to hard for yourself.
THE MOST IMPORTANT ADVICE
Dont take a credit just because you know a great investment. No matter how much you could earn DO NOT TAKE A CREDIT. This can not only ruin you financily but also your family and your whole life. This is no joke! Make no depts.
DO NOT MAKE FUCKING DEBTS!
It is a mixture of long term and mid-term stock investments. Its very easy I invested in:
Before I buy some
- Royal Dutch because of the high dividend
- Deutsche Bank when the hit nearly a all time low hoping to recover (still hoping ☹ )
- Lufthansa because they bought few airlines and hopefully will grow but its not (thanks Greta !)
- Tesla because they are low and made some good deals for the future. (update, sold it and made 30-35% in 6 weeks)
Am I rich or making a lot of money?! Hell no! But Iam making enough to pay for my holidays and few extras. I am patient enough to sit out bad times. I never sold anything with loose and I want to keep it that way. I like having a clean record.
Thanks for reading and feel free to ask my everything.
Okay I'm gonna start off at the DEXA scan part since this is /loseit
and the DEXA scan part is probably going to appeal to most people here more than sappy life story. http://imgur.com/a/m7YxN
So you can see I'm a 110kg 21 year old male who (I think?) comes in the morbidly obese range. On the box graph it has me at the end of normal obese but other numbers have put me at morbid....does it really matter? I'm enormous :P Fyi the reason there is a big X in the middle of the graph is because the lady (10/10 just saying) taking me through my results hated BMI charts with a passion (I mean I get it with muscle mass bone density w/e but I digress).
There were only cool results I got (info included on other parts of the 10 page document:
1: It turns out I have a bone density 4.5 standard deviations above the average :O I guess thats cool...
2: I have a skeletal muscle kg/cm2 30% greater than the average guy my age, which feels pretty amazing been going to the gym the last 4 and a half months and just hit a PB of 130kg Bench press (1 rep)! Obviously I've been eating like 10000 calories a day...33% body fat doesn't just happen
The sap story and the reason I got the way I am :( We're going WAYYY back so hang on tight
So, like many kids I was a very active full of life child who played a whole bunch of sports (mainly field hockey). I ALWAYS gave things my all. Anyways the second last year of primary school comes around and I'm SUPER EXCITED to run the cross country (which is only open to the 2 top years (6/7) of the school). The day arrives and not only do I beat both the year 6's and 7's, I beat the year 7 record of the at the time current AFL (Australian Rules Football) player by 4 seconds. This lit a FIRE under my belly and I decided I wanted to run the first sub 2 hour marathon (ay pre-teens what you gonna do). The next year I beat the record by 30 seconds. I entered highscool, studied decently (ended up getting a 97 ATAR for any Aussies out there :P), but everyone in the school always knew me as the one they'd get to watch in the olympics in 2016 and win it in 2020. When I was 16 I met Ms perfect, the best girl runner in our school and we become the running power couple.
My life was pure running. I ran before school, I ran after school, I ran during school lunchtimes. AND I DIDNT GET TEASED FOR IT
There used to be a group that would sit under the shade of the huge eucalyptus and yell out the times every time I lapped (godbless the runsquad). I ran my 29:40 10km in early 2013, to this day the best day of my life getting giddy (and sad :/) thinking about it now, we all had such a fucking amazing night and I had my first drink ever (hadn't drunk before as it could effect my running according to my research :P)
27/6/2014 the beginning of the end. Going for one of my classic midnight runs. The thrill of the midnight adrenaline and the only slightly lit surroundings while having a nice smooth path which I'd run 10,000 times before was the perfect run for me. I was running 300m 21.1 Km/h intervals exactly ($500 garmin watch), which happens to be 2 hour marathon pace ;) Anyways as I was running I felt my legs start falling, this sensation was VERY NEW to ME. Some eternity later I come to my senses I come to senses and both my knee caps are split to the bone and I cannot move them. Luckily there were houses nearby so I was able to yell out and they took me to the hospital after realizing what was going on (it was 12am to be fair).
Multiple xrays blah blah later, 2 flesh wounds no biggie. 2 torn Meniscus. Biggie. Tried Rehab, got back to walking, got operations, tons of rehab got to stupid slow painful jogging, tons of rehab. Eventually got back to being able to slow jogging with a bit of pain but it was never anywhere close to the same so around July the next year (13 months later) (my birthday is in august) gave up running and lost a decent amount of drive in life and was in a seriously bad spot. So It was coming up to my joint 4 year anniversary (girlfriend) with Mrs Dream Girl and also my birthday (3 days apart) I organised an awesome scavenger hunt for us both going to all of our first dates (I was pretty awesome at dates back in the day, 1st date was jetboat riding :D) . So then for the party I had it at my apartment, the usual drinks and stuff, except I got FUCKING PLASTERED. Thought if theres any time to experience getting drunk its probably on your birthday after giving your up your lifes dream since you were a child.
So anyway I passed out after throwing up buckets (having had less drinks than fingers on my hands before tonight) and my 1 of my 3 best friends looked after me in my room. The other 2 of my best friends were having great fun dancing with my girlfriend (which is awesome we were literally the fantastic 4, always hanging out). Anyways one of the friends started dancing reallllly close and a little bit handsy with my girl and she wasn't exactly pulling away, the other friend noticed this but didn't really want to start something on a birthday so didn't say anything. Anyways party goes on and he notices they are leaving together... (Girlfriend lives with me, the 3 other friends live together) So like the champ he is he waits a few mins and then follows behind and catches them in the act.
Anyway call me traditional but I don't believe a relationship (well for me anyway) can ever come back from cheating. Broke up with her the next day. So over the next year I slowly started to hate life, to binge Mcdonalds 3 times a day "Large Triple Patty McChicken Burger Meal with Chocolate thickshake as the drink" and I got diagnosed with Major depressive disorder, epilepsy (no fucking idea if this is related, some say med side effects some say diet some say genetic some say fucking jesus) and IED.
Cut to the start of this year I made a new years resolution! To kill myself within the week. I'd already dealt a great deal of self harm over the year + since the injury+cheating incident but I said its finally time to do the deed.
I chose my method. Falling to death, splattering on the pavement from the tallest building in my city. I'm not exactly the most considerate person in the world but I still went at 2am so I wasn't going to hit anyone. I wrote a simple note to my now 2 best mates and my Dad and that they were to split up my assets (lucked out big time with bitcoin $$$) and that I appreciated everything they had done for me in life and to know that my last week was the best in a year (it was quite awesome, felt relaxing "knowing" it was going to be all over).
Anyway I took the elevator up to the 3rd highest floor (top 2 had no way to get to outside) and stood outside by the edge. Couldn't do it. Bitched out. Ay theres worse things to bitch out I guess?
Anyways after that decided if I'm too much a bitch to kill myself I might as well try to enjoy myself. I have money to kill so my first step (oh god hear comes the judgement) was to buy every skin and chroma on league of legends on not only my main but my smurf as well....
not my proudest moment... Next step was to get some gym clothes/fancy nikes and a great gym membership. I stepped on the scales for the first time... 115kg. I started going to the gym every day and doing my variation of 5x5.
And here we are! I estimate I've probably put on some muscle and lost a decent amount of fat to get to 110kg but I want to get down to 95kg while doing the same again (increase muscle significantly). I still like the idea of eating a significant amount of food so keeping a high amount of weight through muscle, and not a crazy low body fat % (thinking 20%) I think would be ideal for me. That said I will definitely be going until my visceral fat decreases. And hell I might get a bug for this weight loss feeling ;P
If you got to here you're a fucking superstar, I know I rambled I just don't like to talk about this shit in public and I've been reading this sub for the last week and you guys seem like the friendliest cunts around <3 Can't wait to become part of the winners :D
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